Self focus isn't selfish

It’s about self care. We can only give the best from us if we’re the best to ourselves. Yet we often do the contrary - trying to give out a whole bottle services out of an empty cup.

Giving is important but we cannot give something we don’t have. Energy, love, care, affection, patience, compassion are all in the giving bucket, but how often do you give them to yourself first? Do you take care of yourself the way you do it for those you love? Do you speak to yourself with a gentle compassion when you mess up? Are you patient with yourself when you’re learning something in your adult life the same way you’re when seeing a baby learning to walk?

Self love is not selfish, it’s essential. Put your oxygen mask first so you can help the one next to you.

It’s my birthday week this week and I’ve decided to take is as selfish as I can. To focus on me, my project and my craft. Not taking clients unless it’s absolutely necessary. It’s not a regular practice of mine but it might become one.

Wish you a happy Monday. Do something selfishly nurturing today.

Don't grow up

Especially out of your curiosity and artistic play. That permanent state of exploration and trying all things we like when we’re going up simply disappears when the “seriousness” of adulthood becomes a default state.

Yet all great art expression is manly connected to that pure, curious state of mind where we allow ourselves to be and do by instinct, not by structure.

I’m guilty of living too much as grown up, self depriving myself of exploration and new potential work. I also have to remind myself to let go of expectations, to remove the describing social media full of other people’s life and let myself get into the zone, into creation, letting myself come back to myself.

It’s not too late and it will never be. Just come back to what you love doing and do it often. Grown up fast will always be there, but they don’t really fill your soul up.

Talking Body Image and Nude Art Photography with Dr. Rali Georg

I’m so honoured to be invited to the podcast The Soul Filler by Dr. Rali Gerog where we talk about self-love, body image and art photography.

It was a lovely summer day and I welcomed her in my studio in Poblenou. Here is the full interview - it’s packed with truth, art and real life examples.

Let me know if anything has resonated with you.

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The Love you constantly give out is not going to fill you in

How many times have you given all of your love to anyone else but yourself? How often do you fool yourself that if you show how deep and carrying your love is same will come back to you and fill you? Which person you usually put first - your child, your spouse, your family, etc. ?

Don’t get me wrong - giving love is the best you can do. And for sure the love and kindness you give out will come back to you in some way, share or form. But what you’re looking for outside of yourself will never complete you, will never make you feel the way you’re longing so desperately at times to feel.

There are different kinds of love, although the core feeling is the same. What we miss to acknowledge many times in our lives, especially when we’re young or unexperienced, is that the love we want is only possible to be received from someone or something outside of us. The love that we want has never been and will never be anywhere else but inside of our own Self.

The true ability to love and care about others is first reflected on the ability to love yourself. The way you treat yourself is crucial. We tent to give more than we actually have, emptying our own cup completely dry, giving to those we love from desperation and lack rather than abundance and fulfilment. What happens then? - we need up with a burn out, illness, relationship collapse and satisfaction. We say we did everything for them, we did everything they wanted, but what did we do for ourselves, what did you did for you?

How many times you neglected your own needs to please someone else, even if it’s your own child, to then receive unappreciation that made you feel even emptier? It’s hard to say no and ignore the needs of your loved ones, but you cannot give what you don’t have already. If you try to, and we all have done it, you do both party a disservice - you end up lacking value for them and drying out inside. A so called ‘act of love’ turns into a demonstration of toxic trades, patterns and behaviours.

Even on the plane they say “put your own oxygen mask first” - you can’t help outers if you don’t take care of yourself First. This is not a selfish act, but a necessity. It’s not something to be ashamed about, rather the contrary - showing act of self care is the way to teach your children and loved ones the importance and benefits of self-care, value and potential there is in the act.

So next time you feel tired, want to spent time with yourself, have a desire to nurture yourself in any way - do it! Do it for you, for your inner child and that will reflect on your current relationships. Your children will be happier to spent time with self-fulfiller parent, who let them drink from their overflowing cup.

You deserve it by birth right.

My First Talk During Women History Month

And so it happened…

Something that I didn’t expected so soon - I got invited to an open discussion on the subject matter I care most about - loving and accepting the body. For even bigger surprise to me was the fact that it was in my native Bulgarian language.

The invitation came form Barcelona Networking Brunch - a group of inspiring women, who aim to connect and help other women in their business, wellbeing and personal growth. They are Bulgarians based in Barcelona from different backgrounds and personal stories.

I met them during the last networking vent in February and they invited me to share my experience and personal story during their organised event last Sunday.

Honoured to be invited to share what brought me here, I was also pleased to see that each and every of them connected with the subject matter. It is clear - we, as women, are very harsh and judgemental to our own bodies, and more often than not, spent years in hating and dishonouring it. The body that gives us everything - Life.

Maybe it’s the human condition that doesn’t allow us to see clearly at times. Yes, bodies are different and that’s normal. In fact that’s the main point of it - we’re all unique human beings, that share similarities. We all have our own path to go through, our own lessons to learn. For me learning to accept and love my body more was one  of them. Years spent in hate and disgust, in wishing it is different, in hiring it in various forms, so blind to see how magnificent the body is and how, despite my rage, it is still taking care of me, loving me, helping me in any situations I need.

As women, we have constantly fighting with our bodies, in our bodies, and with people commenting on our bodies. Bodies that are, as they are. With different shapes, sizes, colors. Bodies alive, changing throughout our whole live. Bodies made to bear fruit. Bodies that change under the influence of thoughts and emotions. Bodies, strong and resilient and at the same time dying in seconds. Bodies that grow old and will die. Bodies, the art of nature that serves our soul to live in this life, in this form, in this dimension. Bodies that have the ability to guide us in our choices. Bodies that can heal themselves.

And these same bodies, we dare to offend as appallingly as no one else could.

Some respect please :)

Като жени водим постоянни борби с телата си, в телата си и с хора, коментиращи телата ни. Тела, които са, каквито са. С различни форми, размери, цветове. Тела, живи, променящи се през целия ни живот. Тела, създадени да раждат плодове. Тела, които се променят под въздествието на мисли и емоции. Тела, силни и устойчиви и в същото време умиращи за секунди. Тела, които остаряват и ще умрат. Тела, изкуство на природата, което служи на душата ни да живее в този живот, в тази форма, в това измерение. Тела, които имат възможности да ни насочват в изборите ни. Тела, които могат да се самолекуват.

И тези същите тела, ние смеем да обиждаме толкова ужасяващо, както никой друг не би могъл.

Малко уважение, моля :)

Here is the full video from the event. Only in Bulgarian for now, but I promise soon there will be on win English.

Many thanks to everyone who came and shared their personal experiences. I will never forget this day!