Close to midnight deep thoughts

Still amazes me how Life has navigated me to here. Working on subjects I used to feel uncomfortable with - being around women, speaking my mind, using my body and skin as a light torch in service for helping others like me, like the girl that needed it back there.

“Who am I and what I am supposed to actually do?” are questions regularly passing my mind. “But if not this, then what?!”, a voice replies and encourages me to make just another step forward…

It’s like we pass diferent stages in our life - the pure, authentic soul that come in, to get lost in the externally molded persona supposed to fit in, to get back to that authenticity as the only sane way to live and to be.

Currently reading, observing and feeling a lot about women. Can you tell? About me as part of them. About them as subject of investigation and inspiration. About us as the creative, nurturing force through which that little thing called Life happens.

We’re not talking enough real talks if we’re in such state of constantly seeking it. Thirsty to sense it, hungry to be it. We ignore universal laws, ways of functioning, of being, reasons why things are the way they are.

Our creativity has the capacity to bring to physical form the yet unseen, however the laws of Life, of the purpose of duality will never change. The essential, the core remains. Swimming against the tide is pointless. What you are, who you are, why you’re here is what matters. Rest is societal dust.

The most important Love?

Does February remind you of an obligation to show your love through physical gifts and heart shaped items, or rather makes you roll your eyes up in the air - “love is to be celebrated every day!”.

I agree - Love is to be celebrated and shown every day. Love, the feeling that has many shapes, goes to different faces, but at the core is always the same - incredibly liberating feeling we live for, the one through which we exist.

What is the most important love of all? Love towards your parents or your children? Love towards your partner or friends? Love towards your mission in life or the mindful activities you lean on to keep yourself sane? What is the Love that truly matters no matter what? Where do you find it and how’s it look?

The answer is simple - it’s You. The love you most need is the love you have to give yourself. The same enormous feeling of liberation and fulfilment that vibrates in your chest, expands outwards and sweeps everything on its way. The love you long for to feel complete, to feel happy, to feel content is the pure love that you need to give yourself.

But… How come? Isn’t this selfish?

No.

It’s not selfish, it’s self care. Your capacity to love unconditionally must start from within and expand outwards. The relationship you most need is the one you need to build with yourself in order to share a loving partnership with someone else. Because you can only give what you already have and not the other way around. The more compassionate and loving you are to the person you are most critical towards (yourself) is the key to building a deep, meaningful relationship with anyone else.

During celebrations like Valentine’s day we often put ourselves in a certain group of people, depending on our marital status. If we’re single - we root for self-love. If we’re in a relationship - towards romantic love. I’ve seen people change and take sides depending on the year. I’ve been one of them too - choosing a certain side depending on the moment. But what we all really must understand and accept is ourselves and the love we must give ourselves first.

Nobody else is you, nobody knows what’s inside of you. Nobody will ever be as close as your own Self, nobody can feel your emotions like you do. So let’s start there first. Not just once a year pumped up by the bombarding marketing from all directions, but every day in privacy. For you from you. Because you deserve Love and Love is all you need to allow yourself to give yourself in order to receive. Rest will follow.

With Love and Gratitude,
Mariya

Would you still be you if you could choose?

In an ideal world, where you ca be anyone you wish, where money weren’t a factor and you would do anything you want, would you still do what you’re doing now? If you could choose, would you still be the person you are today?

Pain is inevitable, however it offers us a queue jump ticket to the growth we actually need. Happiness is great, yet for every achievement a certain discomfort is required. If things were all well all the time nobody would’ve move, make a difference or accomplish anything else. It is not necessary to wait for the extreme pain to force you to take a different road ahead, but it is necessary to decide to make the change.

And so, if you’re truly being honest with yourself, could you say you are being the most authentic representation of yourself right now? Do you spent your time working just to pay the bills or dedicating your time on something you care deeply about that you would do even if you weren’t paid for it?

It’s uncomfortable to go against the commodity, yet more painful on the long run if you haven’t. Life goes by and what we do affects us. Big shifts are easy to see but all of them are result of a small steps. Drop after drop. Step after step. Only at the end we can connect the dots and see the whole picture.

Are you doing something today that will help you get where you want to to keep you staying in the familiar reality?

Are you here or are you there?

All these reels and aim for perfection make me tired. What about some impulsive behind the scenes look where all that happened was a real moment captured in time?

Moments never repeat despite often forcing ourselves in repeating the memory of it so through the emotions that come in we can re-live it. Why? Isn’t it now the best moment? Or the one always leading to a better one?

We’re so conditioned in this human form. It’s fun and incredibly interesting, but we get so trapped, serving the material, longing for the freedom of our spirit, enjoying the ride but also excited to finally be “there”.

Where is that “there”? Who is with you? How does it feel? Does it have an aroma? Is it bright? What are you up to?

Many questions, many feelings, many desires and all you have to do is trust - do what lights you up and trust the universal order.

But what if you’re impatient? What if you live a double life - one with eyes open and one when they close? Have you felt like a foreigner in your own life and body?

My thought goes on and on… I keep writhing everywhere, observing everything, learning how to do life, love, art. Constantly upgrading even if I fall two steps behind.

I know you can relate, we’re not different. We’re the same ingredients mixed in different recipes. What are you making today?

You Body, Your Guide

Your body - so uniquely created, magnificently intelligent, with senses that you need no explanation to, but just required to follow.

We often see our body as a regular object that serve us biologically and die. We focus more on ageing of the skin and shape of the muscles, than on the abilities to feel, regenerate itself and even guide us.

But our bodies a re more than what we can see and created for more than to use our sensations in a regular manner.

Are you aware of your inner wisdom? Have you experienced “strange” situations, dreams, thoughts or voices that have proven to you there’s something more than what we see?

Surely you have the feeling of a Deja Vu. Or when you think about somebody and they call you shortly. Or when somebody is untrue with you and despite their assurance of the oposite, you have this knowing deep down that later reveal the real truth.

Your body is here not only to serve you and help you live an amazing life, but to guide you to follow your deepest desires. It’s here with you, for you and you only - your personal assistant of the Universe who happens to be your best outfit too.

Pay attention. Keep a journal. Don’t ignore that quiet inner voice. It’s all aligned and here for you. You just carefully listen…