Before you actually change that deep rooted, harmful pattern of yours.
Self development drowns in stages. First we’re unaware of what is that really deprive us of being our best self. Then comes the acknowledgement of the pattern, followed by desire to change and implementing small changes. Yet we often think that if we’ve seen it and exercised in our brain the desired outcome we want, that we’ve have change the pattern itself. Until Life sends us another test and we fail it.
It hurts isn’t it? All that hard work behind the scenes, all the understanding and self observation to get on the stage of life experience and behave the same as you used to do all those years.
It might take a few times falling on your face until you learn to manage it or, depending how deep it is, find a way to actually switch it around.
Today I had another test and I failed. I feel deprived, angry and annoyed. I knew exactly what I had to do, the voice told me a few times. But I didn’t. Instead I did exactly what I used to do up to now. And I ended up feeling the same as I have tens of ways before.
Until next time, nasty pattern. Hopefully next time the result is in my favour.