Sensual photography is not fake it till you make it

All women I’ve spoken to, myself included, at some point omens in their life have felt unattractive, not enough and less than other woman out there seemingly “having it all”. The cosiest we live in and the female human condition we’re trapped into are also adding to that never ending feeling of insufficiency.

Through experimenting with sensual photography, I’ve discovered that 1) out own mind lies to us majority of the time and 2) anyone can look like they have it “going on” under the right light and body position.

Is this lying to ourselves and others? Is it “fake it till you make it” kind of practice?

- Yes, but no. It’s more about self-discovery during the process. Seeing how things change from the start when we stood in front of the camera fearful and doubtful that nothing good can come out of this, i.e. we cannot be a successful protagonist of the visuals we admire.

The sensual photography I offer to you, that I’ve been practicing for years, is the mirror you need, but often pass by. It’s a visual experience that connects further your image to your soul. It’s not only telling you with words that your ego mind quickly finds a way to argue or disvalue. It’s a visual proof, charged with emotional truthfulness that hits you right where it has to and helps you not only SEE but FEEL who you actually are.

This is not a super power of mine, not an egoistic way to present you my work. It’s the ability I’ve been to create the safe space you need so I can channel the energy to show you your essence.

It might sounds disbelieving, yet only by trying you can find the answer to yourself.

Inwards before outwards

I used to be ashamed of taking my time in privacy, in solitude to regenerate my energy in order to be my best and give my best in social situations. For years I thought it just me being weird, scared or avoiding life and responsibilities. In way, yes, avoidance can appear, but if you’re like me and carefully observe yourself, ll see how necessary going inwards is.

The time you spent with yourself, with your body and your mind, despite sounding like a torture in the beginning, is the most valuable and nurturing time one can have. It’s about discovering yourself the way you are without social masks, expected behaviours or an aim to please.

When you know yourself you minimice the affect other people or situations have over you. You learn how to deal with your own fears, how to calm yourself when needed, how to figure our life when there’s no one to give you the guidance.

Investing in the time to get to know yourself better doesn’t involve playing video games or scrolling down the TikTok. Like with every other person and activity, to really master it, to get to know how it function and how to manage it, one must give it their whole presence, pay attention and listen the response of their questions.

I’ve always had two worlds - the social time with people I love and the Me time with the person that knows me best. I get so comfortable with myself that I can even forget that a a human species I do need my tribe too. This misalignment have caused me intense anxiety moments, but if I didn’t have it I would’ve known that I need both of those worlds in order to function in the pest possible way.

If you’re like me and feel guilty and strange to reply to your inner voice asking you for some solo time, don’t avoid it, take the time and enjoy the ride. You’ll come back much more authentic, inspired and loving towards others if you first learn to truly accept and love your own self.

It's not you, it's them

…or your limiting believe. when it comes down to valuing your work, they (people outside your head) are only responding, reflecting to what you have inside. They are projecting your inner believes to you. Believes that are changeable, that you’ve learned at some point in your life. The value of a work is not simply defined by a price tag, but moreover by value, story and what problem or feeling will bring to the buyer.

I’ve had clients who happily paid whatever I said it costs, and others who fund it expensive. On what base is expensive, I wonder? On the fact that I don’t believe it, or their economical situation? Or is it the way they (we as humans in general) put value on each object, service, experience?

What they find expensive is none of your business unless it’s your inner believe that you don’t cost this much. The value of your work is not related to what others think of it, but rather how you feel about it. Is this the best product/service you can offer your clients? Is your business fully representing you? If not, can you change it to make it so?

Self focus isn't selfish

It’s about self care. We can only give the best from us if we’re the best to ourselves. Yet we often do the contrary - trying to give out a whole bottle services out of an empty cup.

Giving is important but we cannot give something we don’t have. Energy, love, care, affection, patience, compassion are all in the giving bucket, but how often do you give them to yourself first? Do you take care of yourself the way you do it for those you love? Do you speak to yourself with a gentle compassion when you mess up? Are you patient with yourself when you’re learning something in your adult life the same way you’re when seeing a baby learning to walk?

Self love is not selfish, it’s essential. Put your oxygen mask first so you can help the one next to you.

It’s my birthday week this week and I’ve decided to take is as selfish as I can. To focus on me, my project and my craft. Not taking clients unless it’s absolutely necessary. It’s not a regular practice of mine but it might become one.

Wish you a happy Monday. Do something selfishly nurturing today.

What you love, loves you back

so don’t try to run away. Don’t hide, or pretend it's not for you because somebody else said so. And I’m not talking about people. Rather your inner desires.

What you’re attracted to, what you want, the way you see yourself, the places you want to visit and experiences you want to try - it’s all purposely put into your mind and your life.

We so often neglect our inner voice telling us what exactly we want and why, with the voices of every other person around, the media or the society, telling us what we should and should not do, be, want, behave, succeed at. There is a reason we’re all different and that’s OK.

There is a reason you look the way you do. There is a reason you were born at that place in that family. There is a reason you’re drawn to certain things more than another. And the reason is because it is all for you - to make you become the person you came here to be by doing what is necessary to, including cleaning up past live’s “mess”.

By writing this to you I say it to myself hundreds of time in a roll - there is a reason, stop hiding. Life is too short to be someone else, yet we let ourselves stay in our comfort zone where our basic fear of protection is turning into that voice full of jealousy and resentment for not doing the things we want to do.

So get out and do them!

Just start. Step by step. Don’t rush, take your time, but don’t give up. Keep going toward that you most desire, towards the vision you have in your head. One day it will all make sense even if it looks messy now.

Start today because yesterday you said tomorrow.